Once they stop carding you, even better questions start coming up.

My sinus infection finally drove me to the doctor's office. I was nervous, as this was the first time I'd gone to someone other than Dr. Wu in at least five years, but despite my alleged "nervousness," I fell asleep in the waiting room. I woke up when they called my name and groggily made my way into the exam room. I wasn't so much "shaking it off" as "falling asleep again" when the doctor barreled in. He was short and rather tense, kind of like a Jack Russell terrier with a medical degree.

"What are your symptoms?"

"Well, I have sinus headaches, I'm really tired all the time, and I have post-nasal drip."

"Are you pregnant?"

(pause)

"No."

He seemed skeptical, reading into my pause more than was there. What he imagined as a hasty catalogue of my ova was actually my horrified and confused mind thinking, "Post-nasal drip is a sign of pregnancy? My GOD, no one ever told me that!" The appointment deteriorated from there, with me dazedly contemplating the conspiracy of mothers that had never revealed the whole truth, and him angrily dismissing my ability to have allergies in winter.

I managed to recover on the ride home, though. I figure if this is the second coming of Christ, he's not going to bring sinus infection symptoms with him.